


Blue orchids and forget-me-nots

by ClaraCivry (Kat_Of_Dresden)



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Flowers, Fluff and Angst, Hanahaki Disease, JIm likes Spock, Pining, Uhura is awesome, Unrequited Love, but Spock is with Uhura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-12 07:23:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7925794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat_Of_Dresden/pseuds/ClaraCivry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs flower petals when they suffer from it. It can be fixed if the feelings are returned, or with an operation - but that will remove the feelings. </p><p>Jim started coughing up petals and had no idea as of why. It may or might not have to do with a certain first officer who was sadly already taken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue orchids and forget-me-nots

**Author's Note:**

> I'm kind of ashamed to publish this... But I read a fic with this "illness" and I loved the concept. I made up some of the details because there isn't a lot of canon. Hope you enjoy!

Jim didn't understand why it was happening at first, or how it was happening. Part of him he thought that he must have caught something in some planet, an alien disease kind of thing that somehow had crossed the interspecies barrier. Probably because they'd been in too many foreign planets already, exposed to too many different pathogens and at some point one's systems said enough and let the bacteria or whatever it was, enter.

It started off as a strange weight in his chest and strange kind of tickling in his throat that came from deep inside. Nothing too serious, nothing to concern Bones about, probably would go away on its own. And then the cough started, subtle at first, more aggressive later, and that feeling that something was clogged in his throat. Jim didn't tell anyone because he didn't want to worry people, and it mostly only happened at night, after long night of work anyways.

And then something did crawl up his throat and it was some sort of petal. A blue petal, covered in saliva and with streaks of blood, as if he had flowers inside of him. Odd. It wasn't an isolated incident as he hoped, either. It got worse as times went by, and different types of flower blossoms started coming out as he coughed, and those coughs were starting to get harder to hide from the others. He didn't know exactly why he didn't want the others to know, but he didn't. It felt too personal, too intimate for some reason.

Until one day he threw up a whole bunch of blue anemones and poppies and he knew he had to do something, that it was getting out of hand.

"Dammit, Jim, you should have told me something sooner!"

Of course that was Bones' not-at-all-unexpected reaction. Old habits died hard, indeed.

"Who is it? You know that if you tell them and they return your feelings you don't need the surgery, right?"

Kirk just sat there, extremely confused. Who was what? Return feelings... what could that possibly have to do with his flower problem?

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You are so smart for some things and so oblivious for others, Jim... Haven't you noticed that this... affliction started at the same time as your feelings towards a certain someone changed or appeared? Someone that maybe that doesn't reciprocate?"

The Captain's eyes widened. He'd been trying to put those feelings on the back of his mind (he had enough problems already and there was nothing he could do about those stupid feelings anyways) but there was something that had indeed changed in those last months.

"Are you saying that that is what is causing the flowers?"

"It's called Hanahaki disease. It is caused by unrequited feelings and it can be fucking fatal so you better tell whoever it is to love you back or I will have to...."

"Fatal?"

"Flowers clog up your entire bronchial system and you stop breathing. There is a procedure that also can fix it, but it will change your... let's call them brain settings, so you won't feel what you feel for that person anymore. You take away the cause and the infestation and you're free."

"But I won't feel anything romantic, or I won't feel anything at all, for.... this person?"

"It's not me, right?! God, Jim -"

"It's not you, Bones." "Who is it then? Jaylah? You guys could make a nice power couple, but no, right? Who? Someone from the new crew? An ensign? ... Sulu?"

Jim just kept shaking his head, as a new wave of coughs overtook him. Of course. It was thinking of him and it got worse.

"Please, Jim, tell me it's not Spock."

But the Captain couldn't help the guilty expression that crossed his face.

"Really? You're serious right now, Spock. Good heavens. But why now? You guys have known each other for ages."

"I guess it's always been there, you know, but kind of repressed. And then this last mission, you know how he put his life on the line for me, and we hugged, and I hadn't touched for such a long time in like, ever-"

Spock had been so warm and loving... that hug was simply the spark that had ignited something that had been building up for years. Spock was too smart, too interesting, and they had lived too many experiences together. They were too close, it was only logical that he'd end up wanting more. 

"All right, all right." Bones interrupted, feeling awkward. "I don't need the details. Ok, so you want me to do the operation or are you telling him? I mean, he already thinks of you as a great friend, if he knew your feelings, maybe..."

"I can't do that to him, he's so good with Uhura."

"Jim..."

"And I can't do that to Uhura either, she's saved my ass too many times, all of our asses, it wouldn't be fair. And I don't know if I can risk not feeling anything for Spock, the... _connection_ we have is the one of the things that make the Enterprise so great."

"Well, there won't be any connection if you choke on blue orchids and poppies! What's with the blue, anyways? You know what, I don't want to know. Just think about it, make a decision, but do me a favour and make it fast, the more time you spend the harder it will be for me to remove... all of that."

"I don't know, Bones...I don't know."  
_____

Jim was hunched over his toilet, the smell of lavender and hyacinths almost overwhelming him. This illness was a horrible thing but he still didn't know what to do. Dying was out of the question, obviously, he'd done it once and had no desire of repeating the experience.

But the options he had left were not very pleasant. He could a) do Bones' surgery and wake up feeling nothing for his best friend, his partner, his other half... Or tell the man. Best case scenario was that Spock saw him that way too, they kissed and this flower business was dealt with. But then they would hurt Uhura, which would make everything about their getting together kind of bitter, and there would be resentment.

Maybe Spock couldn't return shit because he had some feelings, yes, but not feelings for everyone, in which case the man would be feel bad that he wasn't able to help, and then feel bad that Jim had to go to surgery because of him, and then feel bad (again) when things so radically changed between them. Maybe Uhura would feel bad too, for being in the middle. Everything was bad and suddenly he was regurgitating blue forget-me-nots and everything was wrong. Jim was so engrossed getting everything out that he didn't hear the door open behind him, and two people come in.

"I told you he was sick." Uhura's voice said behind him, while Jim tried to flush all the petals.

Spock got closer and knelt next to Jim, assessing his friend's condition.

"Hanahaki disease? But how did you let it progress so much, Jim? There is a procedure, I am quite sure Doctor McCoy is able to preform it."

Jim wanted to say something, but couldn't. The more he looked at those dark eyes, the less air he felt he had. He was invaded, invaded by those damn flowers that prevented him from saying anything, like the necessary, " _I don't want to stop feeling"_.

"It's him, isn't it?" Uhura said, getting down to their level, sitting on the floor of the toilet. "You didn't say anything because you didn't feel you had the right to break us up."

Oh, how grateful was Jim for not having to say it himself. Uhura really was a master in communication, linguistic and otherwise.

"It's okay, Jim. I don't mind sharing - I kind of always knew that we would end up being three. But be careful with him, will you? He's more fragile than he seems. I'll leave you boys alone."

With that, she kissed Jim's sweaty cheek, stood up gracefully and left them.

Jim looked at Spock, not knowing what to say. Fortunately, no words were needed. Spock knew that he had to d something to end his friends suffering and took him and planted a long deep kiss on his lips, a kiss that smelled like a field of flowers on a cool winter night.

"Wow. I feel better already." Jim said and meant it.

"Will you be able to accept Nyota as well? I would rather not lose either of you."

"Sure, she's great. Like you. Like us."

There was a moment of silence as they sat in that small bathroom floor, looking at each in the eyes, their minds going a mile a minute, thousands of thoughts and feelings going through them. In the end, it was Jim who broke the silence.

".... we're going to need a bigger bed."

**Author's Note:**

> OT3s are life! Thanks for reading and please do leave some feedback :)


End file.
